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once in my life..

i want to match clothes colours with my family during raya...

i wana feel like im a part of them...

even though i know im not...

i wana feel that closeness with them...

that feeling when it was 10 to 16 years ago..

my god, i feel pathetic. ive only been feeling like im a part of them for 6 yrs out of this 17 yrs of my life..

maybe i know im not mean to be with them..

so i shud stop thinkin about "what ifs".

i should stop hoping for the day things wont get akward.

i just know that...

when i grow up and get a job, i need to repay them somehow..

i know im talkin jibberish here... soryy, bye.

once in my life..

i want to match clothes colours with my family during raya...

i wana feel like im a part of them...

even though i know im not...

i wana feel that closeness with them...

that feeling when it was 10 to 16 years ago..

my god, i feel pathetic. ive only been feeling like im a part of them for 6 yrs out of this 17 yrs of my life..

maybe i know im not mean to be with them..

so i shud stop thinkin about "what ifs".

i should stop hoping for the day things wont get akward.

i just know that...

when i grow up and get a job, i need to repay them somehow..

i know im talkin jibberish here... soryy, bye.